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SO the time of the year has come and I'm posting my top songs of the year as usual! Haha coz I'm a music junkie and this has been kind of the tradition. Except that this year I don't really update myself on new artists (except the exploding ones like PSY -.-) or listen to many different genres for some reasons (e.g. Nicki Minaj :"> but seriously I was probably just lazy and then uni started so ya) so this can be considered as the guide to 2012 mainstream music, by me! :p NO. ARTIST TITLE 50 Cheryl Under the Sun One of the only 2 songs of the album that I listened to :">. 49 Jay-Z Glory (feat. BIC) 48 Rita Ora How We Do (Party) Overexposed on MTV, but kind of addictive. 47 Ha Anh Vu From the Very Start Yup I didn't like her at the beginning because of the fiasco POSE SNAP SNAP POSE but after watching her live and being influenced by my Internet friend (u know who u r LOL) I listened to this song and it was kind of nice :). (câ

First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! (lol I started writing this post before Christmas and barely finished it before new year's eve HAHA) This holiday (starting about 3 weeks ago) was definitely quite an amazing journey for me, both emotionally, physically and mentally (lol, sounds like some funny reflection. But it kind of is). There's never been such a crazy, busy holiday period with many twists and turns like this one. OK not really, but still it was quite of a memorable experience heh. First I actually didn't want to stay back during the holidays since you know, it's the holidays, and I want to fly home and spend time with my family and my newborn nephew! *insert cute emojis* I was ready to leave everything behind (HAHA) including practices for Eusoff Hall Dance Production, Christmas caroling (which I really wanted to go but it was just too late) and other random stuffs. Also I have no money so it's better to just go home instead of risk going broke he

I don't know what's going on with me anymore. I feel no drive, no motivation, no push to even get myself to study. Some may say that it's just the environment that I choose to be in (my room) that is hindering my ability to study, which is partially true since I'm quite sure if I drag myself to some public places I would study better, but again, what's the point? Really, if I want to do something I should be able to do it wherever I want to, or at least feel the drive to do it wherever I am, if you get what I mean. I feel to desperate to study which makes me not study and that makes me desperate all over again. It's like a vicious cycle of laziness. I saw a Tumblr post yesterday saying that laziness kills, and that is probably what is going to happen to me if I continue living like this. I feel like a lost monkey in the jungle, always looking so calm and cool and knowing what he's doing, but secretly inside he's helpless and aimless. At one point in ti

- Last year: the end of IB exams, and the start of one of the best trips of my life with my awesome friends. I miss y'all! - This year: my first time seeing a live, professional musical, better yet an amazing one that made me feel an awe and elation that I'd never felt before. Like seriously. I don't think I've recovered from the awesome-ness yet. I just need to write this down. I wonder what will happen next year lol.

So I'm 20 now. Yay? Lol I've always pictured this moment as the day when I'm no longer a teenager :O which sounds really weird haha, because I still want to be a teenager. I shall be a teenager for life (although I'm not even that good at being a teenager. Sometimes I'm too serious, and most of the time I'm just too weird). Birthdays have been somewhat a time for myself for the past few years. I've never been that kind of person with a lot of friends who hang out and have a big celebration on my birthday. I'm also not the kind that has all sorts of people calling me on the phone and coming to my place wishing me good luck. Sometimes I do get jealous of those people, but sometimes I just feel bad for them because they have such a busy day to deal with. Everyone wants to feel special at some points of time in their life though, so I suppose a busy birthday is not that big of a deal for some people. For me it's always been somewhat quiet and alo

SO, I haven't updated this blog for more than a month now, ever since I came to Singapore which was almost 2 months ago. Lots of things have happened, lots of money has been spent, and lots of annoying things have come up, as usual. First of all, I am again back to my  nature of continuous procrastination and horrible last-minuteness. Being in a single room takes away the peer pressure of studying, so whenever I'm in my room I tend to do more awesome stuffs like watching YouTube or Modern Family (which is absolutely AMAZING). Being awesome has its price, and that being me staying up for the whole night (already more than once, and it's barely the middle of the first semester) trying to finish an assignment that is due on the next day, is not a very good consequence. I just feel more motivated to study anywhere but in my room, but I don't like going to the Hall's Reading Room to study for some weird reasons, and my favourite place to study happens to be a 10-15-m

SO I just came back from a club. Technically I've been in a club before, but I was alone and I'm not exactly the "socializer" so as you can imagine how great that experience was (it was not bad actually, especially when I got a bit tipsy). Tonight I went to a club in Hanoi with a few friends. Although I was only there for about 30 minutes (since it was 1030pm and my parents were already calling me incessantly - ok, twice) I probably got a few realisations about me and clubbing. First of all, clubs (maybe just Fuse, maybe just clubs in Hanoi, i don't know) are for rich people. I was dressed quite, um, ghastly today, since all of my "better" clothes are packed since I'm leaving on Friday. OK so it was not that bad, like a t-shirt and jeans and sandals (because I was too lazy to put on shoes). I have been very image-conscious for the past few years, probably due to Singapore, but I could really feel the awkwardness when I arrived at the club. People

I don't think there is a Vietnamese word that is totally equivalent to "resentment". Yet I have been seeing (and probably experiencing) so much resentment lately, be it about a country that is disliked, a trend that is criticised, a past that is regretted. It kind of scares me, to be quite honest. Frankly, I don't even know where these waves of resentment are coming from. Everywhere we go my mum would refuse (or at least avoid) any kind of products that are made in China. That is most probably out of fear that any product made in China is toxic, dangerous and low-quality, despite the fact that 90% of the world's stuffs are made in China (random, unchecked statistics) and in a place like Vietnam the label can be switched in a minute. The resentment continues on at any sort of news that pops up on the TV about China, especially with the recent debates about sovereignty over the islands, whereas my parents would immediately say something that can be roughly paraphr

I started cursing when I was really small, like maybe around 4th Grade? Well actually I knew curse words like way earlier than that, but when I was in 4th or 5th Grade I became really, really, really vulgar. Not disrespectfully though, i.e. I don't curse in the family or to older people, basically it's a friendly thing. Kind of. I remember cursing at my neighbour friend who was 4 years older than me at school, then he told my mother and I was scolded for that. (Now that I think about it, it's so funny how the "I'll tell your mama" threat is not always an empty threat.) Anyway, after about 1 or 2 years when I was in secondary school I stopped being so vulgar. Partly because of the change of school which of course is unfamiliar, and also because of me realising how annoying and "ugly" those words are. I still occasionally cursed of course, out of anger or frustration, mostly just for myself, but generally I didn't. I started to see vulgar people

... is a question that I ask myself a lot of time. As if my life isn't already complicated enough, I am constantly met with dilemmas and choices. I know I should be grateful blah blah that I even have the ability to choose, unlike so many others who are unfortunate to have to do things they may not feel entirely comfortable with. But these "What if...?" questions keep coming up to me. What if I hadn't rejected the Hong Kong offer? What if I had chosen the other school? What if I actually had a job instead of wasting my life away in the previous 6 months of total nothing-to-do-ness? Actually I know the answer to the last question. My life would have been more interesting at least. Not that it's not been interesting for the past couple of months, and I have taken it to myself that I will have my chance to work my ass off for at least 30 years in my life, why should I feel bad now that I can take a 6-month break? Anyway, back to the main point. There is not reall

When I was walking around my "neighb" this afternoon, I realised that it's summertime and the street beer "stalls" had become so crowded. With my great amount of watching sitcoms and TV shows recently, most of which have a common settings: a BAR! I don't know why I capitalised the word.  I can't help but notice the similarities between these beer kiosks in Vietnam and the bars in Western countries. Alcohols - check. Men drinking and talking loudly - check (actually, Vietnamese are probably louder than Westerners, a behaviour which I dislike because it's just annoying - why do you have to be so freaking loud?). But the funny thing is, in US/UK shows, the gangs consist of guys, girls, gays, all kinds of amazing people. In Vietnam, there're just men. I hardly see any women at these "street beer bars" in Vietnam. Which is nothing important, you may say, but it's just what I see and it can probably be traced back to societal values, mi

Every time I go back from a swim in the afternoon, I feel extremely tired at night. For example, currently I'm feeling so tired that I actually want to go to sleep at 9PM. Not a good thing. Also, I feel like I should be stretching because my body feels bad because I didn't stretch after exercising as a form of warming-down. That is apparently not very good. In another news, I've officially become a fan of the show Happy Endings. I discovered the show on StarWorld, and since it was showing Season 2 already, I didn't really connect much with the show. However, some interesting things came up so I decided to get the first few episodes online. And WOW the show is funny! I don't think there is any show that can keep me laughing at almost all of the episodes throughout 2 seasons, and I watch How I Met Your Mother and New Girl. They say it's like a funny version of Friends, which I find funny, but since I don't really remember much of Friends, I've gotta say

I miss writing on here. So, just a random, no-topic blog? :D I have been extremely lazy, and I have a ton of work to do. OK so maybe not a ton, but still I think the effects of IB have been more long-lasting than I thought - the facts that I can only work properly after midnight, and I am still as last-minute as ever, show a lot. Or maybe it's just me being lazy. Heh. I think I'll take up swimming quite seriously. 3 times a week, and I will swim quite intensively for the period of 1 hour 30 minutes. Since I haven't been dancing :(((, I need a physical activity that will not bore me to death or cost me too much money and awkwardness (i.e. the gym), swimming is a good choice (plus, it's free, due to some undisclosed reasons :p). My swimming techniques suck, but well, all of my techniques suck anyway. I will try to improve, but I'm not born to do physical activities. What else? So much work for TEDx, and yet I still want to get a job. I've been putting it off

So I went back to my hometown for the first time today. It was, erm, lovely, and much less awkward than how I thought it would be. I'm not a very talkative and social person, so a situation whereas I meet everyone and don't know everyone while everyone is related to me in some ways, sounds pretty awkward. But it turned out to be quite OK. Very OK, indeed. I didn't talk much, of course, but hearing random stories and conversations from people whom I don't even remember, strangely made me feel really "at home". I don't know why, maybe it's the mentality that it's my hometown, maybe it's the nice weather, maybe it's the great landscape and atmosphere of the countryside, but overall I had a wonderful time. A time when my life is not dominated by technology and the Internet, a time when time passes, not exactly slowly, but nicely. I don't know. It was probably a break for me since whenever I'm at adults gatherings in the city, they alway

Not that I would want to have piercings, but I really really do want to try to dye my hair and have (a few) tattoos.

What is this hype about posting experience, comments and stuffs about the ASEAN scholarship on blogs? It started off with some posts saying how amazing it is, then some posts about how brainwashing it is, then some unbiased posts about tips on how to live in Singapore on the scholarship and all that jazz, and I'm just like... Hmm. They're probably fun to read, but experience must be, well, experienced. Personally I don't find tips and tricks very useful in many situations, especially when it's not academic-related (as in studying and exams and stuffs like that). I prefer to do my own things my own way, learn from them and then move on with my own tips and tricks. These blog posts, in my opinion, do not and will not affect the decision whether one will take up the ASEAN scholarship or not, to a large extent. There are many reasons why one would take up the scholarship - financial difficulties, the wish to pursue a better education, and so on. I guess it's OK to post

I had a funny encounter today. When I was handing out fliers promoting Earth Hour 2012 so a pair of middle-aged, respectable-looking office men on the pavement and blabbing to them about how I was a volunteer and please support Earth Hour blah blah blah, they replied to me: “我们是中国人，我们不。。。懂。” At this point I was kind of like half suspicious, because I didn´t hear the Chinese accent and he took some time to remember the word 懂, but for the sake of professionalism (and showing off, maybe) I replied to them: “你们是中国人？这是世界的。。。” At this moment the traffic light turned green and they crossed the road while I was trying to figure out how to say "Earth Hour" in Chinese (世界的小时？哈哈). They probably said something or laughed or something like that because afterwards my volunteer friends said "They are Vietnamese, and they were just joking with you", and from then my suspicion was confirmed. Funny encounter, you may say, but there are some points worth taking note of:

I have been admitted to 2 American colleges so far. They're all good, top 100 of the country, and they all give me some sort of scholarship, which is nice I guess. But even with the scholarship, I can't afford their education. I guess as an international applicant I don't have much say in financial aid and stuffs in America, but I can imagine many American people in the same position as me, and that would be sad for them to be able to get into colleges but unable to afford the education.

Haiz... My American dream is big, humongous, great, awesome. I want to go to America and taste the dreamland, the freedom, the love. OK that was hyperbole, but I really do want to go to the US to study higher education. But right now my family's situations, both financially and physically, are not great. Things look bad and I feel like if I go to Singapore that will be like a huge relief for my family regarding a lot of things, and it's easier for me to come back when there are emergencies, too. So I don't know. Family obligations, or self independence? Of course my selfish independent mind is like GO TO AMERICA (and find love there... lol), but my filial, responsible kid is saying the otherwise. Choices are annoying -.-"

So tonight there's a K-pop show in Hanoi. Things are chaotic, as usual, both online and offline. Videos are uploaded every few minutes of performances, pictures, news articles about black market tickets ranging anywhere from 2m VND to 10m VND. I laughed at this video showing crazy K-pop fangirls screaming and running into the performance venue when it was opened. But then I thought to myself, if this were a Beyoncé concert, would I do the same thing? I personally understand the limits of idolisation. I wouldn't jump in front of Bey or try to snatch her t shirt or her necklace or whatever (all of which I've heard reports of K-pop fans), but if I were at the gate at a Bey's concert, I would definitely run in as fast as possible, just like those girls. I wouldn't scream though, I mean, save it for the show lol. I actually did that in 2009 to get to the front row of I Am... Tour in Singapore, and I regretted nothing <3. I mean, it's not just the crazy

And I'm very happy with my friends' reactions about it lol. Such a random moment.

I admire my mum for her confidence, independence, and no bullshit attitude. Hence, it is ironic how she doesn't let me be the same. I don't know if I'm blaming people for my characteristics, but lack of trust and proper communication is a serious issue in my family and I don't know how I'll prevent this from happening to my future family, if I ever have one. Let's hope that I'll remember how I feel at this moment.

OK so I made this post a week ago (I think?) but I kind of want to post it here. I don't know why though. Another thing - now I have a Tumblr, a Blogger, and a Wordpress. It's kind of overwhelming, not that I'm trying to upkeep the activity on all of these sites or whatever, it's just that I'm neurotic and messiness (of this sort) annoys me. Anyway, First of all, everything has 2 sides. People will just have to agree to disagree, and I’m fine with that. But I still want to spill my thoughts.   1. GLEE, the new episode:   OK people are complaining that Glee is not just a fun fun fun fun series anymore, and I agree. So? As something becomes more popular and, inspirational, to more people, the drama will get more real, things in life are not always as rosy as it plans, and so what if the producers are trying to portray the reality of life instead of making it fun and painless? For Glee, I feel like the recent drama are more than just negative things that are punc

OK so the only reason I'm posting on here is because the new Blogger interface is totally GORGEOUS so I'm giving it a try. I'm not sure what I will post here though, probably more texts since Tumblr has become an image-sharing site rather than a place for me to write. I don't know how long will I be able to keep up, but I would want to give it a try.