I've had a lot of random, mostly pessimistic thoughts over the past few days regarding many things that I was participating in. I feel like I don't belong. I don't know why suddenly the need for belonging just creeps up and overwhelms me like never before. I miss my old roommates, my old OG mates, my old times when I don't have to care about fitting in or being responsible for others.

Oh well, things change.


So today, after my first ever outside dance class with my friend (which was really fun and therapeutic in a way), I decided to walk around without really knowing where I want to go. So somehow I wandered upon Little India and all of its hustle and bustle. It's really cool to see a place in Singapore that is not so glossy, pretty, and most importantly, expensive. Among all the Indians I felt like a foreigner. A tourist who doesn't have any concern or care about what others think of me, and that I am free to look, see and be amazed by all the strangeness. I've been longing for that feeling ever since I travelled to Danang and Bangkok recently. And it's nice to know that there are places in Singapore that I can go to and (sort of) feel the same way.

Along the way, a stranger asked me whether I knew there was a post box nearby for him to send a postcard. Being the blur "tourist" I was, of course I said I didn't know where a post box was, and we parted. After a few minutes of walking to random places, I passed by him again, seemingly still looking for the post box. After passing by him without saying a word (and avoiding eye contact, as usual), I thought to myself "Why shouldn't I help him? I can (with my phone), and isn't this already a random night with the walking and all." So I ran back trying to find him, but to no avail. Nonchalant, I kept walking at a random direction heading towards the MRT station. And kind of to my surprise (but not really, since u know how a lost person can just go round and round), I met the guy in the station! I approached him and said I would help, and after about 5 minutes searching on my phone (btw, Google Maps doesn't really do a good job at finding places, like seriously whyyyy -.-), I showed him the direction on a map book that he has (thankfully, otherwise I don't know how he's gonna walk the 800 metres in the correct direction. In that time I managed to find out that it's his 3rd out of 4 days in Singapore, and that he came from Hong Kong. He thanked me and again, we parted.

In hindsight, I was really thankful that I decided to walk random paths and had this encounter. It kinda made me feel like somewhere, someone in the world would probably make me feel like I still belong. In this big big world. And that being spontaneous is super fun! (I can only be spontaneous in the right mood though, which doesn't happen so often. Maybe give me a dance class and I'll be on :p)

Then again, why is belonging so important anyway?

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