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Showing posts from 2013

Stay.

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I've always felt that I'm not good enough. And that claim is not entirely unfounded - I'm lazy, easily distracted, and hardly aim for excellence (I do aim for excellent results though, thus relying on my luck and fate a lot. Of course that doesn't work all (most) of the time. Anyway.) But once in a while, someone comes into my life through whatever way, and reminds me of what life truly means to me.

Life (my life at least) is not really about excellence, achieving CAP 5.0 or leading the team that wins the A Cappella Championship. Not that those things are not important in any way, but it is just my outlook of life, and what I truly aspire my life to be. I want to #BeyGood to other people (shameless plug much). I want to do something that will change or at least affect someone in a positive way. Whether that something makes them feel a bit better in a moody day, or change their life forever for the better. It is difficult to remember all of these things when I have to de…

Overdue

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This is a draft for the overdue stuffs that I'm supposed to blog about. Which will be here once I have the time - actually I never really have the time, but I make time anyway. Because I'm lazy.

[Birthday]

[Random things in hall]

[Dreams]

[...]

But I'mma be blogging about exams. Usually at this time of examinations, I would be stressed as fuck because I would be slacking off after about 20 minutes of studying (which is not even productive), and then I would feel the remorse 2 hours after playing, and then continue playing. Yet I set way too high expectations for myself (which have seen a dramatic wake-up call after I received the exam results last semester. Or did I wake up at all?) But somehow this semester I've been totally calm. Not that I've been hard-working or productive or whatever, although I must say the times that I actually sit down and do my work (which are not that frequent) have been kind of productive. Or seemingly productive. #placebo. Maybe it'…

Overwhelmed.

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With too much work.

With too many commitments that are both exciting, challenging and time-consuming.

With all the organisations that I'm supposed to be doing to feel less messy and to actually start doing some productive work, but I'm not.

With all sources of distractions that my cursor will automatically point to and click once I sit down in front of the laptop.

With all sources of distractions that I will lead myself to instead of my table and my pile of work.

With the determination of not sacrificing my entertainment for my productivity, and ending up sacrificing everything and not being productive at anything.

With all the expectations that I'm supposed to fulfill that may not even matter at the end.

Do they?


People underrate this song SO MUCH for its generic EDM beat (blame will.i.am) and how Britney is not getting out of her comfort zone (ref: Scream & Shout). But even with a song like this, if you listen to the lyrics, you'll find something. For me it's …

Spontaneity

I've had a lot of random, mostly pessimistic thoughts over the past few days regarding many things that I was participating in. I feel like I don't belong. I don't know why suddenly the need for belonging just creeps up and overwhelms me like never before. I miss my old roommates, my old OG mates, my old times when I don't have to care about fitting in or being responsible for others.

Oh well, things change.

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So today, after my first ever outside dance class with my friend (which was really fun and therapeutic in a way), I decided to walk around without really knowing where I want to go. So somehow I wandered upon Little India and all of its hustle and bustle. It's really cool to see a place in Singapore that is not so glossy, pretty, and most importantly, expensive. Among all the Indians I felt like a foreigner. A tourist who doesn't have any concern or care about what others think of me, and that I am free to look, see and be amazed by all the strangeness. …

Sắp đi

Vậy là lại sắp một lần nữa bay sang Sing tiếp tục cuộc chiến đại học.

Nói nghe không phải lắm, chứ tôi đã bay đi bay lại cũng phải gần chục lần rồi, cảm xúc thì nó cứ dần dần nhạt đi sau mỗi lần đi đi về về. Vẫn là những công đoạn muôn thủa: mua đồ, mua mì, đi ăn uống với bạn bè, đến giờ thì xách vali tạm biệt gia đình và bay vèo sang Sing, tiếp tục với cuộc sống một mình nhưng không quá cô đơn. Không biết có phải vì cảm xúc của tôi đã bị bào mòn đi nhiều cùng với cuộc sống nhanh chóng, bận rộn và tấp nập ở Sing ko, nhưng thực sự có lúc tôi cảm thấy như bị lãnh cảm với những gì xảy ra trong cuộc sống, đến mức không muốn nói chuyện với người nhà vào mỗi tối thứ 7 hàng tuần như thường lệ (và cũng vì một phần vì cuộc sống bận rộn nhưng buồn tẻ, chả có gì đáng để kể cả, ở nhà thì mọi thứ luôn "bình thường" mặc dù sau 2 tháng về nhà thì "bình thường" cũng đầy những áp lực căng thẳng... Anyway...)

Nhưng không hiểu sao lần này lại khác.

Hè 2013, tôi về đi làm cho quán cà …

Workin' Life

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SO today is the end of my first job, EVER. I DID IT! Having a part-time (this is a full-time job though, so let's consider it a summer job lol) job before I turn 22! Now there're just a few dozens more things on that random list to do before next year hur-hur.

(I can't find the list now for some weird reasons. Oh well.)

Anyway, I feel obliged to write a little reflection of my short-lived career as a waiter at HOTDOT Cafe & Bar. As always, this is gonna be a rambling and really random post as it goes on.

I've wanted to have a job since like forever, back when I was in secondary school when I just want to gain that little bit of financial independence and was almost ready to become like a newspaper delivery boy or something. I even wrote an article on some outdated software and sent it to my favourite technology magazine hoping that they will publish it, which of course nicely told me that the software was outdated and there were already tutorials for whatever I was …

Muse

It's so great to have the opportunity to meet someone, albeit only once in a long while, to talk about things that are a little bit intellectual (not pretentious) and eye-opening. I get inspired every time I talk to this friend of mine, who has had (read: earned) many amazing opportunities to see, feel, and experience life in so many different ways, and yet still be the person I remember from the 10th grade (just smarter and more mature). She gives me some kinds of hope for the future, that the kind of things and changes that I want to do and make, I wont have to do them alone, because there is her and other youths like her who are willing and able to make them happen, to make the world a better place. :)
How sad is it that exams is the only thing that can trigger my emotions so much that I have to rant (whine) them out in a blog post?
I made a careless mistake in my first exam paper. It was just one MCQ question out of 80, and I don't really care so much that I get a bad grade for the module or anything (or maybe subconsciously I do). But the thing that keeps ringing in my head after the exam is that the mistake could have been avoided if I didn't doubt myself, because I actually learned the content (for one lol) and I was so sure about the answer until the 119th minute when I suddenly thought that the answer was wrong and, in a panic mode, changed it.
I'm certainly not that academically competitive (I hope), but I feel like people keep on giving me so much expectation and pressure just because I did well last semester. Everything I hear revolves around the idea "Oh you are so fucking smart, you probably don't need to study and can still get an A," (<- A…

Voices

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I just felt like writing a post, really. Haven't posted here for so long. Where shall I start?

This semester has been kind of horrible, academically. All of my assignments are last minute, I don't keep up with my readings at all, I barely understand what is taught in class. Yet I feel like everyone expects me to somehow "just do well". I feel the need to do well, not because of anyone's demand, really, but rather just because I am kiasu, yet don't spend enough efforts to improve myself. So I won't do well. Oh well.

I performed in an item called (A)part for the NUS Dance Ensemble's concert entitled Evocation: Voices. It was interesting, to say the least, how I get to be in an item that reflects my (almost) exact feelings when I'm in rehearsals, or in the company in general. I'm not a good dancer: I'm not technically trained, I don't pick up steps very fast, I don't (can't) watch and replicate all the lines. I don't exactly h…

New (Lunar) Year

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I've been meaning to write this post for a while (since Lunar New Year started?) but I procrastinated, as usual. Right now I'm procrastinating looking at my school work by writing this blog post HAH. New year, same me. :(

Anyway, I realised that most people wrote about what happened during the past year for their new year's blog post. Since all I did for the New Year (the dương lịch one lol) was the music countdown (which I always do by the way so there's no problem with that) I shall write about things that I've done in the past year (2012 - năm Nhâm Thìn), and then just some random thoughts.

1. TEDxYouth@Hanoi
Since I was a lazy bum in Vietnam for 8 months doing totally nothing but watching TV, going online and going out (rarely), I decided to join TEDxYouth@Hanoi. It was an interesting journey to organise 3 TEDx talks, I got the chance to meet really, really, really amazing people who are nothing short of drive and intelligence. I must say I wasn't too involv…