What if...?

... is a question that I ask myself a lot of time. As if my life isn't already complicated enough, I am constantly met with dilemmas and choices. I know I should be grateful blah blah that I even have the ability to choose, unlike so many others who are unfortunate to have to do things they may not feel entirely comfortable with. But these "What if...?" questions keep coming up to me. What if I hadn't rejected the Hong Kong offer? What if I had chosen the other school? What if I actually had a job instead of wasting my life away in the previous 6 months of total nothing-to-do-ness?

Actually I know the answer to the last question. My life would have been more interesting at least. Not that it's not been interesting for the past couple of months, and I have taken it to myself that I will have my chance to work my ass off for at least 30 years in my life, why should I feel bad now that I can take a 6-month break?

Anyway, back to the main point. There is not really a "main point" in this random, rambling blog post, but well... People say you shouldn't have any regrets in life, and everything happens for a reason. I believe in all of those, to a certain extent, because there have been choices in my life that I regret making. But I don't want the regrets and remorse to cloud my current and future life. I do waste a little bit of my time thinking "What if...?" but so what? Not every minute of one's life can be efficient, especially for a lazy ass person like me. But I guess sometimes one should just dive into work to get away from those constant questions, insecurities, fears of the unknown, so that you can make something of a certain level of substance.

I will just have to roll along with whatever my decisions take me then.

(I actually intended to put Nelly & Kelly's "Dilemma" video, but after writing that last sentence, this just seems like a more appropriate choice :)

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